Just Go Speak

My dear Friends, 

This blog post is a little bit different. To be completely honest, it is in no way the post that I had originally planned for this month. Actually, I was going to write a post about what it’s like teaching children (it will come eventually), but I can’t not write about what just happened on one of the most amazing nights I’ve had in a long time. 

I’m actually writing this post after I’ve just got home from a local artist soiree that I was invited to attend. “What is an artist soiree,” you might ask. Well, in this scenario, it was a party that was held so that the public could have a chance to meet local artists like me. The artists were encouraged to display and sell their art during, and talk to people about art stuff. Oh, and there were pretty good cupcakes, too. 

But anyway, it was a party, and if I’m being totally honest, I was already more than nervous about this because it was a new experience for sure. 

Even still, I was excited because I do really like talking about my art (it’s what I’m most passionate about) and any chance to talk about my art is a good time indeed. So, in preparation for this party, I tried to dress up a bit and choose some of my favorite artworks, and then I decorated my space. I liked talking to all of the people who would pop into my space and we had some great conversations. Eventually, I navigated away from my classroom/studio/temporary-for-the-night-shop and I got some lemonade and sat down with the one person that I knew in the crowd from church. I was really comfortable talking to her, but was too nervous to go mingle with anyone that I didn’t know while I was away from my space.

But as the night was winding down, the music stopped, and one of the local artists who forefronted the organization of the event got up to speak and then she invited more artists to speak. As I was standing in the very corner of the festivities, one of my fellow creatives who I had only gotten to know throughout the night suggested that I should get up and say something. I declined, but as a few more minutes went by and more speeches were doled out, I suddenly felt this warm but stern feeling that settled on my head, then on my shoulders, then on my heart, and finally on my entire body. 

“Go speak,” God was telling me.

“I don’t want to,” I argued back. 

“Go. Speak.” The feeling got heavier on me. Still gentle and warm, but very much pushing me. 

“I don’t like public speaking. I don’t want to.” I continued to argue. 

God continued to let his spirit rest on me as He was impressing me to go give a speech. Now, I know that all of this can sound quite strange to some people, especially if they’re not believers, but if you are, you know… YOU KNOW what it feels like when God is trying to get you to do something for Him, especially when it’s out of your comfort zone. It’s not a bad feeling. God is really gentle and He nudges you, but just like the Father He is, He is stern in what He wants of you when He wants it. 

“You said you would make yourself uncomfortable for Me,” God reminded me. (Which I did, in fact, promise God that I would make myself uncomfortable for Him. That’s part of my testimony that I haven’t fully shared with you all yet, but one day maybe I will.)

“Yes, I know Lord, but I don’t even know what to say. What would I say?”

“Just tell them what I did,” He said. (For context of what He did, please read my first blog post. It is the story of how I got my business started.) 

As I was going back and forth with God and His pressing on me quite literally had me shaking in my ballet flats, with His spirit trying to raise my hand but my flesh keeping it lowered, my dad who was also there and one of my older artist friends both suggested that I should go say something. 

“Okay, God. Okay,” I thought. “I’ll go talk.”

I went to the front of the room and I began to talk. I introduced myself and I was so nervous, but I was okay. I continued to speak and I told everyone in the room about why I do art, what my dreams were, what my goals are, and why I love teaching art to children. Then I began to testify about everything God has done for me that allowed me to get the room I teach classes in, all the supplies I needed, and basically how I got my business started in the same sense of what I told all of you Friends about three months ago here. 

To be honest, it was all a blur. I wasn’t focused on faces and I was trying to remain composed. My testimony wasn’t perfect, and I know that I could have been more eloquent, or that there were things that I could have added, or even things that I could have said differently to make them clearer, but I’m learning. Next time, I know that I will do better, and as God continues to use me and I continue to speak and step out on faith, I know that He will make it easier for me and will continue to help me with the words that I need to say. 

It felt like twenty minutes, but it was actually only four, and as much as it wasn’t perfect and both my voice and my hands were shaky, I know that I touched some peoples’ hearts. I invited the crowd to come speak to me one-on-one in my space, and some of them did. I talked to several other believers and it was so incredible because I loved hearing about their lives and knowing that I inspired them or reminded them of things that God has done in their lives. I even got a lot of support from people who I’ve only talked to in passing. Some of us even prayed in the hallway, so I’d like to think that we had a mini-church. 

Now that’s a party that I can get behind. 

But in all seriousness, I am so thankful that God has been working with me so much that now I can feel Him when He’s wanting me to do big things like that. Like I said, I wasn’t perfect and there’s some things that I wish I would have said, but ultimately, God got the glory. 

Sometimes I can be a little bit difficult when it comes to just saying yes to the things that God leads me to do, and unfortunately I know that it will probably take a lot to break that habit, but if God tells me to do something, I’m going to do it. I might argue with Him a little bit at first because if we are being totally honest, I really do like being comfortable, but that’s not what I promised Him. I promised Him that I would make myself uncomfortable for Him, and in my case, that seems to be a lot of speaking when I normally wouldn’t. 

It was one of the best nights ever and I like knowing that I can always depend on God to turn a good thing into a great thing, as long as I’m putting Him first. It was a good thing because my art was being seen, but it was a great thing because God was able to be seen as He was working through me at that time, and then later on through the visitors in my space. 

And so, my dear Friends, I will leave you all with this: Just go speak. 

If God is ever telling you to do anything, especially give your testimony, talk about Him, to pray for someone in public, or whatever it may be… Just go do it. It might make you uncomfortable in the moment, but if you don’t do it, you never know what good things you might miss out on. 

Just go speak. 

Thank you, Friends, for reading my very long blog. You’re all absolutely amazing. 

And if you think He can’t use you, He can. Ask Him to, and He’ll call on you when you least expect it. 

Never forget that I love you so much, but Jesus loves you so much more.